A fizzler is the only professionally administered effervescent drink found on bike rides. It is smooth and quite refreshing, and to be the perfect fizzler it must be free.

Combine 3/4 oz. chilled vodka with 3/4 oz. chilled 7-up.(in a pinch substitute Mountain Dew, Squirt, or mustard) Follow instructions below for dispensing and drinking techniques.

Popular Fizzler Drinking Techniques
  
Many have argued that learning the proper technique of consuming a fizzler is a science. That's why the DieHards are here for you. Below you will find the three most popular techniques developed over our many years of service. We encourage continued consumption throughout the year, thus avoiding gastronomical difficulties during P.F.S. (Peak Fizzler Saturation) times (RAGBRAI, BRR, Human Bike-In, etc). So just lean back and our trained, certified technicians will take over.

1) The FIZZLER Popper:
  
The fizzler popper is deployed until we lose the fizzler cup. (See the face fizzler for non-cup instructions) One of our trained technicians will pour the proper amounts of vodka and 7-up into a small plastic children's glass. You will either be holding the glass or it will be handed to you once poured. Place one hand around the glass and the other firmly over its top. Shake the ingredients by quick hand movements or my hitting it on something solid, i.e. the ground, your knee, or a friend. Once it "fizzes", drink it down quickly.  Repeat until satisfied.

2) The Face FIZZLER:
   
One of the more popular ways to consume a fizzler is the face fizzler. One of our technicians will be carrying two water bottles. One containing vodka and the other 7-up. When instructed, tilt your head back and look to the sky while holding your mouth wide open. The technician will then squirt the proper amounts of vodka and 7-up into your mouth. When instructed, close your mouth and shake your head violently back and forth until you feel a fizz, then swallow. This procedure should be repeated two additional times to achieve the recommended F.S.L. (Fizzler Saturation Level).  During this, you might hear a chant of "Three in a row!...Three in a row!".  A more daring version of the face fizzler is the Horizontal Face Fizzler, where the recipient lies on his or her back and takes the medicine.  Disclaimer: Only for the brave-hearted (see Sundance to the right demonstrating this maneuver in '98). 

3) The Gargle FIZZLER:
    
The gargle fizzler, invented by Tom Taylor of Team Power Belch, is one of the more entertaining deviations to the Die Hard fizzler attempted to date. Follow the instructions above but instead of swallowing, once the drink fizzes, gargle, with the mixture creating a double fizz. This technique is highly recommended for professional fizzler drinkers.


Technical Notes:
    
A) In the event of a "bad pour" (almost all or completely all vodka), it is useful to have our fearless leader Goo around, as he will gleefully accept and consume it for you.
    
B) Vodka selection process. While a high quality vodka is great in a martini, the less-costly vodka works quite well in a fizzler. 
  
C) All we ask in return for a free fizzler is a smile, and maybe gratuitous sex for our dwindling single contingency. 
  
D) In 1993, a variation of the face fizzler was attempted by Mark "Mel" Grider, where he stood on his head and attempted consumption.  Due to anatomical realities relating to the angle of the human sinus cavity, this attempt was ill-fated, painful, and is not likely to be attempted again anytime soon.